Want to quintuple your odds of winning in the dating game?
We surveyed a variety of top experts and learned five unbelievably
effective secrets to make the opposite sex come running.
Here's how you can use them to work for you:
1. Be the center of attention
Want to be the one who gets noticed? Stand in the centre of the room.
According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the author of several books and
internationally-known expert in the field of spatial psychology, where
you are in a room (and what you're doing) has a lot to do with your
ability to attract the opposite sex. Where should you be for the highest
impact and the greatest number of interested cuties? Smack-dab in
the center of the room, standing up and moving around a bit. (But
don't pace a track on the carpet for goodness sake...)
If you're in a bar or nightclub, the best place to be is at one of
the corners on the bar. Not only will you meet more people, but, according
to Mehrabian, bartenters tend to gravitate toward the corners as well.
Interesting conversation AND a full drink? You'll feel like you've
died and gone to dating heaven. The worst place to be seen? Hanging
out near the wall or sitting at a table. That hot stranger approaching
your table and asking "may I join you" only happens in the
2. The color lure
What color can you wear to compel the opposite sex to approach you?
According to Color Consultant Leatrice Eiseman, Director of the Pantone
Color Institute and author of Colors For Your Every Mood, women are
attracted to men wearing the color blue. And why wouldn't we be? According
to Eiseman, guys who frequently wear blue are "stable, faithful,
constant and always there." The blue guy is a fantastic candidate
for a long-term relationship -- someone who's dependable, momogomous
and can match his own clothes.
And what about the ladies? Eiseman says women should wear a pink-
peach to make themselves most approachable. The color is "very
flattering to most skin tones, it gives you healthy glow," and
according to Eiseman, projects "a little vulnerability which
brings out something protective in men."
Want to wear a color that weeds out guys who can't handle strong women?
Try a deep red, burgundy or plum. Men who aren't attracted to strong
women will steer clear.
Of all the colors, red is the most sensual. But, wear red with caution.
"Red is the color of sex and power," says Eiseman. Red adds
an element of excitement and attracts two types of men - men interested
in sex, and men attracted to powerful women. Sure, you'll probably
have to fend off a lot of freaks, but you could also end up attracting
a guy that isn't threatened by the fact that you make a bigger salary.
Concerned your wardrobe is driving people away? Stay away from what
Eiseman calls "squished caterpillar yellow-green" which
is said to repel both sexes equally.
3. Body talk that reels 'em in
How do you use body language to attract the opposite sex? If you're
a woman, the key is to make yourself approachable. According to nationally-respected
body language expert and professional speaker, Patti Wood, you want
to make yourself a "safe" (read approachable) target. How
do you accomplish that? Don't take up a lot of space (which is a sign
of power and superiority.) Wood says, "we are strong women, but
remember, we're trying to get a man to come over and talk to us."
She explains, "you have to show you have room for someone else
in your life."
In addition, Wood says "to be very approachable women should
stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with toes pointed
slightly inward. " Other key moves, the nod and the head tilt
- signal you're listening to what the other person has to say.
For men, appearing more dominant effectively draws the attraction
of women. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart,
and toes pointing outward. Feel free to take up some space. For men
who are victims of the "nice guy" badge, or who appear to
be too submissive to attract women, try taking your Y chromosome out
for a spin. According to Mehrabian, men should "try wearing bulkier
or more conservative hairstyles or clothing," hold your head
up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.
Body language tips for both sexes: Don't fold your arms and don't
chew on gum, ice or your fingernails. According to Wood, the chewing
indicates anxiety or frustration, neither of which are very attractive
4. The power of a smile
Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important
things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable)
is to smile. Not a great big plastic game-show smile, just your normal
"I'm having a great time and I'm happy to be here" face
will do the trick. According to Wood, "the smile is the international
signal of friendliness."
5. Tempting with scent
Studies show that men associate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla
with love. To make the scents work for you, try baking some ready-made
cinnamon rolls about an hour before your date arrives, or, wear a
cinnamon-vanilla scented perfume (there's a fabulous one called "Man
Magnet" at www.stopgettingdumped.com.
Aromatherapy experts have long-believed cinnamon to be an aphrodisiac.
According to Laura Davimes, aromatherapy and herb expert , "certain
aromatic plants exude oils similar to our own sexual secretions or
pheromones. Wearing cinnamon/vanilla blends increases the presence
of pheromone-like substances and dramatically increases attraction."
The scent of a woman? Women, according to a recent study, are attracted
to a black licorice scent. So, be sure to pick up liquorice at the
theatre snack bar. And, if you're at a club and happen to spill a
little Pernod on your shirt, don't worry about the stain, just consider
it your lucky night.
Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know
to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One"
in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere January 9, 2003
Sign up for Lisa's free dating tips newsletter at www.stopgettingdumped.com