Dating Tips

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Like Ants to Strawberry Jam
by Lisa Daily

Want to quintuple your odds of winning in the dating game?

We surveyed a variety of top experts and learned five unbelievably effective secrets to make the opposite sex come running.

Here's how you can use them to work for you:

1. Be the center of attention
Want to be the one who gets noticed? Stand in the centre of the room. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the author of several books and internationally-known expert in the field of spatial psychology, where you are in a room (and what you're doing) has a lot to do with your ability to attract the opposite sex. Where should you be for the highest impact and the greatest number of interested cuties? Smack-dab in the center of the room, standing up and moving around a bit. (But don't pace a track on the carpet for goodness sake...)

If you're in a bar or nightclub, the best place to be is at one of the corners on the bar. Not only will you meet more people, but, according to Mehrabian, bartenters tend to gravitate toward the corners as well. Interesting conversation AND a full drink? You'll feel like you've died and gone to dating heaven. The worst place to be seen? Hanging out near the wall or sitting at a table. That hot stranger approaching your table and asking "may I join you" only happens in the movies.

2. The color lure
What color can you wear to compel the opposite sex to approach you?

According to Color Consultant Leatrice Eiseman, Director of the Pantone Color Institute and author of Colors For Your Every Mood, women are attracted to men wearing the color blue. And why wouldn't we be? According to Eiseman, guys who frequently wear blue are "stable, faithful, constant and always there." The blue guy is a fantastic candidate for a long-term relationship -- someone who's dependable, momogomous and can match his own clothes.

And what about the ladies? Eiseman says women should wear a pink- peach to make themselves most approachable. The color is "very flattering to most skin tones, it gives you healthy glow," and according to Eiseman, projects "a little vulnerability which brings out something protective in men."

Want to wear a color that weeds out guys who can't handle strong women? Try a deep red, burgundy or plum. Men who aren't attracted to strong women will steer clear.

Of all the colors, red is the most sensual. But, wear red with caution. "Red is the color of sex and power," says Eiseman. Red adds an element of excitement and attracts two types of men - men interested in sex, and men attracted to powerful women. Sure, you'll probably have to fend off a lot of freaks, but you could also end up attracting a guy that isn't threatened by the fact that you make a bigger salary.

Concerned your wardrobe is driving people away? Stay away from what Eiseman calls "squished caterpillar yellow-green" which is said to repel both sexes equally.

3. Body talk that reels 'em in
How do you use body language to attract the opposite sex? If you're a woman, the key is to make yourself approachable. According to nationally-respected body language expert and professional speaker, Patti Wood, you want to make yourself a "safe" (read approachable) target. How do you accomplish that? Don't take up a lot of space (which is a sign of power and superiority.) Wood says, "we are strong women, but remember, we're trying to get a man to come over and talk to us." She explains, "you have to show you have room for someone else in your life."

In addition, Wood says "to be very approachable women should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with toes pointed slightly inward. " Other key moves, the nod and the head tilt - signal you're listening to what the other person has to say.

For men, appearing more dominant effectively draws the attraction of women. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and toes pointing outward. Feel free to take up some space. For men who are victims of the "nice guy" badge, or who appear to be too submissive to attract women, try taking your Y chromosome out for a spin. According to Mehrabian, men should "try wearing bulkier or more conservative hairstyles or clothing," hold your head up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.

Body language tips for both sexes: Don't fold your arms and don't chew on gum, ice or your fingernails. According to Wood, the chewing indicates anxiety or frustration, neither of which are very attractive emotions.

4. The power of a smile
Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable) is to smile. Not a great big plastic game-show smile, just your normal "I'm having a great time and I'm happy to be here" face will do the trick. According to Wood, "the smile is the international signal of friendliness."

5. Tempting with scent
Studies show that men associate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla with love. To make the scents work for you, try baking some ready-made cinnamon rolls about an hour before your date arrives, or, wear a cinnamon-vanilla scented perfume (there's a fabulous one called "Man Magnet" at www.stopgettingdumped.com.

Aromatherapy experts have long-believed cinnamon to be an aphrodisiac. According to Laura Davimes, aromatherapy and herb expert , "certain aromatic plants exude oils similar to our own sexual secretions or pheromones. Wearing cinnamon/vanilla blends increases the presence of pheromone-like substances and dramatically increases attraction."

The scent of a woman? Women, according to a recent study, are attracted to a black licorice scent. So, be sure to pick up liquorice at the theatre snack bar. And, if you're at a club and happen to spill a little Pernod on your shirt, don't worry about the stain, just consider it your lucky night.

Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere January 9, 2003
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